Sherlock Holmes and The Elliptical’s

Yesterday I went to Canadian Tire to try out the Ellipicals I plan on buying. There’s only about a $60 difference in price, so it’s pretty hard to chose one based solely on specifications

One is front drive and the other is rear. After a quick Google session, I learned that the front drive ellipticals cause the user to lean forward and some find this uncomfortable. “Forget the front drive” I thought. Rear drives mimicked a natural stride better and were more comfortable, said the website. I was at odds. Which do I get?

The next day, I decided to launch my own investigation. Kinda like an armature Sherlock Holmes. I went to Canadian Tire and interrogated the suspects (this simply means I tried out the 2 ellipicals), Miss. Horizon and Miss. Proform (workout equipment must be female. I’m a male and using male equipment would raise some eyebrows)

Miss. Horizon seemed fine. She is what detectives call “a front drive woman” (I don’t know what that means, but I couldn’t think of another way to say this was the front drive elliptical) She didn’t seem off kilter. When questioning her, I didn’t find myself leaning forward noticeably. That was a good sign, although she did seem to have a little quirk. She gave a little kick at the end of every question. I was satisfied and moved on to Miss. Proform – Translation: The elliptical seemed fine. I didn’t feel as though I was leaning forward and it felt comfortable. The only thing I noticed was a little jerk at the end of each stride but it didn’t bother me too much

I’ve seen this type of woman before. Miss. Proform was a rear drive woman, smooth, and comfortable. I didn’t expect much from questioning her but the detective inside me told me I should, and I’m glad I did. Miss. Proform seemed drunk or under the influence of some controlled substance. Under heavy questioning, she swayed side to side and didn’t seem very sturdy, as if she would topple over at any moment. I also noticed she had a slightly wide gait. It wasn’t extremely wide, but wide enough for me to notice – Translation: The elliptical was like the one I already own; rear drive, smooth and comfortable so I didn’t expect anything new. When I tried it, it wobbled side to side – it could have been the platform it was on. I also noticed the stride was a little wide and therefore somewhat uncomfortable. It kind felt as though I was squatting

After questioning the suspects, I deduced that Miss. Horizon was the prime suspect. I decided to wait until after Monday to take her in (I’m waiting because Costco is having a sale on Monday)

It was elementary, my dear Watson


3 thoughts on “Sherlock Holmes and The Elliptical’s

  1. “I’m a male and using male equipment would raise some eyebrows” LOL! This was an entertaining post. I especially like that it ended with a shout out to Costco. I didn’t realize those were not only in America. I’ve never been to one, actually. I’ve never been a member. *sniff, sniff* 😉

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